Trials at a Babys’ Welcome

“Now that the holidays are beginning, our local Infant Welfare Centre is suffering from a shortage of helpers, and I found myself, the other day, dragged in to act as temporary Registrar. I can't say I was keen on the job, but, as having a couple of babies of my own, I felt I was safe from making the obvious errors. Surely, I thought, I shall know a boy from a girl, and recognise if it is roughly the right weight. But alas, for my conceit! I soon found it was no good judging by my own close cropped urchins; a mass of long curls was as likely to indicate Archie as Alice, and after one or two bad crashes, I avoided saying “he” or “she” until I had taken a peep at the membership card.

As for weight! It was simple enough when a bouncing infant was plumped on the scales to make congratulatory remarks , but when a diminutive mite was lifted on and turned the scae at 6lbs., I involuntarily brought out

“Poor wee thing! How old is she?" 

“Two months,” said the mother.

 "Is- is it the food that does not agree with her," I suggested, “that she is not getting on?”

 "Not getting on! “ snorted (he mother. “She's put on 6 ozs."

 “Oh,” I gasped, “then she was a very small baby~-" 

“Two and half pounds when she was born" said the mother, “ and she's put on half a pound every week since. Not getting on indeed" and in high indignation she retired to the back of the room where the infant was received with the respect due to such a miracle. 

I hid behind the register, resolving to record weights only in the future, and leave comments to the nurse in charge, but my worst error came at the end of the afternoon. A large countrywoman entered with a shawl-wrapped bundle, and sank into ‘the ‘seat by my side. “

You have not been here before?"  I enquired.

 She shook her head.

“Then would you mind giving me baby's names” and I reached for a card, "Daisy Ann Barabara” she drawled.

 With a smile for the weight of name on one wee infant, I carefully inscribed "Daisy A.B. Williams”, and handed over the card. Still she sat there waiting. “Don't I want another card?" she asked at last. “Its two" and opening the shawl, she revealed side by side, two tiny puckered faces – Daisy and Barbara!

 Next time they want help at the centre, I shall have an important engagement elsewhere.